There is a mist in our minds and hearts that keeps us safe when we cannot bear to see the truth. We’ve all felt it. It encompasses us and hides the beast that is about to attack.
The beast comes in many shapes, sizes, colors, and images. The beast once was beautiful but morphed to become ugly and menacing before our eyes. If we could have watched it turn, seen it become hateful, we might have at the very least, prepared ourselves for battle. Or we could have fled.
Battling to save our sanity, our souls, was not an easy task as we were unprepared. So we improvised late, after the fact, after we had opened the curtain to reveal the monster standing there ready to crouch and attack us once more. We must outsmart this monster. We must not let it hurt us anymore. This all stops now.
Engaging the monster again and again, with seeming regularity, it should be wounded, and yet it doesn’t die, doesn’t grow weak. We cannot keep it at bay any longer. We must let it out and break it down piece by piece. We cannot let the monster win. We must be the victor.
Women who have been in an abusive relationship know the roots of this monster. They have experienced the hate that comes with the attack, shrouded in makeshift clothing designed to trick us into believing it is love. This is love? Love is supposed to be beautiful, not foul. Love is supposed to be caring, not possessive. Not crushing. Not lying. Not hurting.
The mist that once protected us must now nurture us as we begin the journey to save ourselves. We must now look at the past, see it for what it was, and burn it, not bury it as we did long ago. Burying only kept it at bay for a time, and then it began to call to us, very softly at first, becoming louder and louder over time. We are no longer afraid to touch it because we know it cannot hurt us anymore.
Walking with the mist around us, we tread softly at first, holding back tears of regret, but ultimately grasping the knowledge that those tears are cleansing us. Feeling the darkness that had sucked happiness and hope from our existence, being released from our bodies and souls is nothing short of miraculous. The mist is a kiss, a sweet loving kiss that has no boundaries or expectations. It is just a kiss to help us on our journey.
